Just another paradigm of awesomeness

uhhh what now?

Well come on, let’s come to terms with ourselves here: we all take a shower, at some point in our lives…but you know what they say- its the journey that matters not the destination. By that I obviously mean the process of showering! (muahah – his evil laugh consumes him knowing very well that this path is not so often trudged upon)

Well obviously I don’t really care about the things you do in the shower (its your business) but the awesome part really kicks in is when you turn on that extraordinarily powerful hot water tap and hot water is just perfect and it feels like everything will be okay and the shower curtain starts to move in on you! Admit it, you know what I’m talking about. Being cornered by your shower curtain is something many people wouldn’t want to admit to, probably because there’s not much people can do. Well that’s the shower curtain suction effect: when that annoying shower curtain just won’t stay still, it’s as though it’s magnetized to your amazing body…Okay stop blushing.

So the shower curtain suction tube is essentially the hypothetical-theoretical tube created when the hot water gives rise to hot air and as hot air escapes at the top a suction tube is created! – So how does one get rid of this effect? “You cant” it replies as though alive – like the grim reaper holding its scythe, tapping it on the ground at the gates of heaven – “did you really think there was such a thing?” and he laughs…

For those who believe in supernatural powers, this is an official letter saying…NO it’s not alive or a subspace of some quad-dimensional power-its a shower curtain -_-

So for all those who shower and love their shower curtains, I hope you enjoy the Shower Curtain Effect this morning! and for those who hate it i sincerely sympathize! and for those who don’t shower – dude, seriously?


Coffee punch!


The inevitably long line at Tim Horton’s isn’t demotivating for them coffee lovers – in fact, its a tease: “You want some?” (says the coffee cup posing in it’s glimmering state of perfectness) Caffeine is what our brains crave early morning, the second you lift yourself up from that comfy, warm awesome bed in the morning ( like satan slowly luring you to hell, except in this case our heaven is hell). Wait what now? Is that the sound of  the God of all paradoxes yelling waving its hands in the air..”IM HERE! IM HERE!” – I dont see it? do you ?

The Coffee punch though, is a literal punch in the brain in the morning. It can be seen to be something more or less like a converting center (i dare not take its name…cough CH-cough-RU-cough-CH), where people meet the better half of themselves. For those who’ve read the books on Dexter or watched the TV show know that this thing I’m talking about is a little like the dark passenger – concealed in the dark…all night…just waiting for that cup of joe, ready to pounce and take everything for what it’s got: caffeine. Wait did I say caffeine again? I actually meant soma. Yes, another random reference – this one goes out to all my huxley readers this one’s for you (he says with a grin, titling his head – fly-kissing empty space).

Soma really had it’s ups and downs in that book (the brave new world) but in all reality, the awesomeness really sprouts from Huxley’s ability to predict our future state. How did he know? well im assuming he was a coffee drinker too! KISS (Keeping-it-simple-stupid!)

“So wait, what’s the coffee punch again?” says John for John has no clue why he’s actually reading this! Well cause it’s awesome: the coffee punch is the early morning craving that coffee lovers endure only to have it fulfilled at the cost of $2.69 and that large cup of elite awesomeness will fulfill your dreams – but more importantly, it is the digger- the old man-living in our minds calling for pleasure and the dark passenger yearning for something to cling on…that can be consumed. Hah! and they say eating your kids is bad?

Welcome to daily awesomee! [awesome with 2 e’s ]

Over the span of time (if we assume time is not a continuum) of our lives, we human beings live extraordinary experiences, learn new things and eventually get to know how awesome everything is.

So why wait to share, if wordpress lets me do it for free ? (he says standing with this chest trusted out, hands on hips ..in a loud prideful know-it-all voice)

More importantly, why wait to share for waiting to share is equivalent to waiting to be awesome. Thus implying the direct proportionality relationship of being awesome and sharing.

So, without further adieu oh beautiful people – let’s get this party started!